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My reason and my WHY

I am going to be extremely blunt, straightforward, and write something I feel weird and even a little stupid typing, are you ready…

Beachbody has not only been life changing, it’s been life saving.

I am completely and wholeheartedly serious. I know, this seems like a tall order to fill from a network marketing company no less. If I did not have my workouts, and nutrition, and mental and physical health in check right now, the sentence I’m about to write would have literally put me over the edge. I have no doubt in my mind I would be on anti-depressant medication right now and I can say with certainty I would have gained another 20 lbs with stress eating on top of the 203 lbs I already weighed at the first of year once given this information.

In mid-June we found out that my husband had cancer.

So much uncertainty, so much sadness, so much anger, so much emotion. I thought we were too young for this? Why is this happening to us? Is this year of bad luck ever going to end? I was not prepared; we were not prepared to digest this information. Pure SHOCK.

You know how people always say, “Things happen for a reason.” I have previously wanted to choke those people, I have never been in this camp. I was a believer that life is a series of choices, and your series of choices make your path through life. Your own choices are the reason things happen. Well, I am now firmly in the “things happen for a reason” camp. In my case, there was no choosing anything, circumstances presented themselves.

There was a reason I chose to have my very first New Year’s Resolution ever, and that it was so “selfish” I was embarrassed to say what is was when people would ask. There was a reason I was ready to get out of my funk. There was a reason I suddenly felt this overwhelming need to get fit, healthy and most importantly get stronger physically AND mentally. There was a reason I had nothing stopping me, there was a reason I had the time off from working to focus on me. There was a reason Beachbody (specifically Chalene and PiYo, who made me feel self-worth again) with it’s workouts and focus on clean eating entered my world, with Jackie waiting for me. There was a reason a familiar freelance position presented itself at a time when I would need the support of my closest friends who worked there and give me the flexibility to be with my husband and family. There was a reason I had the will power to succeed and an amazing new fit family support group in my corner every step of the way. Little did I realize at that time, my “selfish” little New Year’s Resolution to focus on myself, have the year of “ME,” would practically save my life. I had no idea what the year had in store for us. The universe knew; I would need to eventually be the healthiest and strongest person in our family. All of this was preparing me for my reason.


This year has been the year of health crisis in our family. In sickness and in health was something that resonated and was not lost on us as our 10th year wedding anniversary was quickly approaching. We had so many exciting plans for this year, but the universe, unfortunately for us, had other plans. My thyroid (which caused anxiety, depression, weight gain and fatigue), losing a tooth and going through the tooth implant process for 4 months, quitting my job that caused so much stress and unhappiness, our son had his tonsils out and then he broke his arm…now this devastating news. Then, on my husbands 2nd day of his first round of Chemo he lost his business partner/mentor/father figure unexpectedly. All of this has been overwhelming to us to say the least, but nothing we can’t handle thanks to my new grip on life. My positive attitude that I’m known for is also finally back, and was going to be my strongest attribute during our year, my secret weapon.

Now here we are mid-October, and we FINALLY see a light at the end of the tunnel and we can put this year behind us. My husband fought like a champ, and after 2 successful major surgeries and 2 preventative rounds of Chemo he is now cancer free. I realize that sentence makes it sound like a breeze, like “oh this thing happened and now it’s over,” but it was anything but. It was tough on both of us in different ways of course, we were both emotionally fragile throughout the process. We were going to lean on our families and each other like we had never before. I was bottling up my emotions to be strong for him and my family, and lucky for me exercise ended up being that outlet. As embarrassing as it is to admit, there were more than a few workouts I actually cried through, it was such a healthy release though. The hardest part for me was completely letting go of what my needs were, they didn’t matter, the focus needed to be on him and my family. He is still in recovery mode with a couple of battle scars, namely a 4 inch and a 12 inch scar from his surgeries, lingering fatigue from his chemo, and a temporary Lex Luthor look about him (I’m totally digging it!). He hasn’t been able to really workout, and his diet and appetite has been irregular for 4 months (since his first surgery). I’m hoping with a little help from clean eating, a high protein diet and my good friend Tony Horton, he’s going to get back into shape in no time. Things are definitely looking up!

I was in such a fragile state at the start of the year, and am so proud of how far I’ve come. I went from overweight, depressed, unmotivated, stressed, overwhelmed, anxious and no self worth to being confident, happy, motivated, inspired and thankful.

It’s truly amazing how much eating the right foods (80% of the time ) and adding daily fitness has transformed my health. I am no longer pre-diabetic, my thyroid medication will be lowered this month (I have Hypothyroidism and Hashimoto’s Disease), my mood has lifted, my fatigue is gone, my IBS is gone (for the first time in 18 years!), and did I mention I’ve lost 27 lbs and 22 inches (that’s a size 16 to a comfortable 12, and thisclose to a 10)! I feel so good, happy, and energized.

I’m sharing this because you never know what the universe is going to throw your way. I realized that I needed to be healthy for my family and that I needed to start taking better care of myself, and I knew I wanted to do it the right way…no magic pill and eating whatever I wanted, this had to be a complete overhaul on my diet and I had to incorporate fitness, a lifestyle change. This must be a priority for all of us. If I don’t take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of anyone else, namely the two precious munchkins I have?

Here are a couple words of wisdom I want to leave you with today:

  1. YOU ARE A PRIORITY AND YOU ARE WORTH IT. Take care of yourself. Get your nutrition in check and keep your body in good working form. You are worth the daily 30 minute workout, you are worth the nutritious eating. 30 minutes to take time for yourself and refocus for the day is NO TIME AT ALL in the grand scheme of things and should be your most important 30 minutes of your day. Did you know a daily 30 minute workout is proven to reduce stress, depression and anxiety? It did all 3 for me. Yes, you are going to have to re-prioritize your day. We are all busy, myself included, we can find every excuse in the world as to why we can’t fit “me time” into our schedule. I have a full-time job with a 30 minute commute, I have 2 kids that I have to take to school and have after school activities, I have dinner to make, I have bath time and bedtime routines, homework, never ending laundry, daily housework, we have functions we have to attend, we have doctor and dentist appointments, we have family get togethers and birthdays and play dates…but for me, my 30 minutes a day is a NON-NEGOTIABLE, I will MAKE time, it is a priority. Again, how can you expect to take care of anyone else if you aren’t taking care of yourself first. The great Chalene once said, “If you can’t find time to focus on your health and wellness, you will eventually have to find time for sickness.”

  2. Don’t sweat the small stuff, because there are unexpected bigger fish that will need your undivided attention.

  3. It’s not your circumstances that shape you; it’s how you react to your circumstances. This has echoed in my ear all year long!

  4. Go through life with a positive and optimistic outlook, start each day with a smile and be thankful. Surround yourself with positive people. I have previously thought my ability to always assume positive intent or see the goodness in others was a detriment, and now see it as a blessing in disguise. Life’s too short to go through life wasting energy on being negative. Just DECIDE to be happy. I highly suggest following Chalene Johnson on FB, Instagram, or her Podcast, she is such a great positive influence with a spiritual message and will put a smile on your face.

  5. Do something that makes you happy and/or you are passionate about! Let’s face it, many are in unfulfilling jobs or maybe you’re not doing something that makes you totally happy at the moment, try and offset that! We all have hobbies, use it to your advantage: stress relief and joy. I recently took up sewing, something I’d never done before in my life, I ended up loving it instantly. I love how my Graphic Design skills and knowledge spill over into my sewing projects. It is my stress reliever (besides my daily workout) and makes me happy, honestly I need to make more time for it! You need to find your outlet…drawing, coloring (adult coloring books are all the rage right now), photography, puzzles, sewing, knitting, reading, or whatever (non-electronic if possible) that relaxes you. It’s so important to do something you think is fun and personal. Who knows, it could blossom into something more!

Finally, I want to thank my husband. Without him I would not have had the courage to start my journey. He pushed me to be better, he pushes me to take time for myself, and he is my biggest supporter. There is no one I’d rather go through hard times with and we are very blessed to have so many people around us that love and care about us. He and my children are my life and my “Why.”

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This site offers health, fitness and nutritional information and is designed for educational purposes only. You should consult your physician or other health care professional before starting any fitness or nutrition program. The views and opinions expressed in my blog are my strictly own. It is not intended to prescribe, diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, nor replace current medical treatment or drugs prescribed by your healthcare professional. It is your responsibility to educate yourself and address any health or medical needs you may have with your physician or self advocate. Please seek professional help when needed.

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